"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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