The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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