So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize