Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
