I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
