You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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