question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
