Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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