I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
