she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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