Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
