I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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