I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
