i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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