You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
