I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
