He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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