Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
