Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Iโm the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
