bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a beard to bite.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
