I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
