You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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