Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize