i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
