Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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