I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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