She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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