It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize