my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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