thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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