glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
