Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
