My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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