is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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