Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How does it feel to date your dad?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
