Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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