what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
