I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
