Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I lost the right to judge tonight
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
