Buhtt sex?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
