i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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