First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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