so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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