Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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