your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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