Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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