Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
