My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
