my vag is so smooth its legendary
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
