Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never joke about your clitoris.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize