is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
