thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
