So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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