just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
