So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize