i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
