drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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