Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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