We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
