you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
