so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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