who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
